free your mind - instrospective
Good evening fellow travelers of the mind! I’m very proud to present a collection of VERY old tracks that I wrote back in high school. They’ve largely been the inspiration behind starting the conspirio project and they are now available to listen for free on Soundcloud.
And now we deep dive into each of these tracks. Every song is, after all, a story!!
into the wild (original version)
Back in high school, I was sure that I wanted to pursue music and had started writing from a very young age. In fifth grade we were taught how to use Finale (which I still hate to this day). I didn’t really have another chance to pursue writing music on a computer until I was a Junior in high school and entered Music Tech. There we learned Propellerhead’s Reason. I spent countless hours in the department, using my lunch and free periods as well to really dive into the software and create some weird shit. into the wild was a very early creation and was written well before I understood the mechanics of mixing and mastering (all of these tracks, with a few exceptions, are raw as hell in this way).
I loved the rhythmic drumming sound of the arppegiators and just rolled with it. Now, of course, the song has been rereleased in an entirely different form, as most of my music evolves in the writing process. And after listening to all of my old (shitty) music from high school, it turned into the real inspiration to pick up the project again, to re-morph it into something more accessible.
aura borealis
Which brings us to this song. Perhaps the least accessible of the bunch in terms of content, aura borealis features Charles Manson. The decision to use his sound clips was not, in any way, to support what he did. I do not support murder, or the coercion of others into murder. I just found it interesting his mania and insanity. This song is also not presented in its original form. It has been remixed and restructured several times over the years, this being the most recent. It was originally intended to be part of a release that dealt with matters of extreme darkness (and staying in line with the “thought-tronica” genre I was building). The idea was abandoned due to its extremity, especially since the world seems to be crashing down. Abandoning the idea of using spoken word sound clips in my songs was another reason for it being shoved away in a lowly folder on my computer. Sometimes his last utterance “I’m nobody” still gives me goosebumps though…
planet six
This song has very obvious hints towards the Maya and their culture. At the time (remember, high school 2006-2008) I was experiencing a period of intense spiritual growth, or at least I thought I was. I would drop acid every weekend, and research cultures of various spiritual tribes, including the shamans of the Amazon. Fascinated with the idea that the Mayans were either from space, or disappeared into it, the song wasn’t difficult to craft. I felt like I was constantly on the precipice for some cosmic spiritual discovery that just never came. All of the answers to the world’s questions were on the tip of my tongue. I could literally taste it, the sweet taste of universal truth, but I couldn’t express it with words. Every psychonaut, true psychonaut, knows what I’m talking about. The feeling of existential orgasm or the moment leading up to the release. I felt it was coming. I was convinced that the world would go through a drastic change in 2012. I didn’t believe in the apocalypse from Hollywood, but rather the Greek derivation of the word meaning “revelation.” Something was going to be discovered that would change our lives entirely, something huge. Suffice to say that it either didn’t happen, the Mayans got the date wrong, or (and this is some truly fringe shit that I don’t really think) the government has covered up something of vast importance. The lattermost conspiracy theory is really where the idea of conspirio began.
lotus flowering
Okay. I will freely admit, that this song is entirely ridiculous. I honestly cannot remember from where I found the stem of monks chanting. I had been heavily influenced by the music of Shpongle at the time and thought I could do something along those lines. From a mixing standpoint, this is one of the better sounding oldies. Aside from the crazy chanting, I think this one actually has some potential for remixing. Solid groove, cool Rhodes sounds in there. Now if only I can find the original files…
subliminal messages
This song was meant to be either an opening or closing track for an album of intense thought. It’s a shorter piece, not very musical, but VERY spiritual. The clip really spoke to me on a deep level and I didn’t think that it really needed very much musical help to really bring the message across. Again, the music that I was trying to write all fell in a similar vein. All of it required active listening, and active thinking too. This is really what I wanted to do to separate myself from other artists out there today. I drew very much from the work of Kevin Moore, post Dream Theater (also love Dream Theater of course). He sings in a lot of his work (which I also miserably failed at with my own) but his utilization of spoken word was on point, and is a far better producer than I was then and probably now as well. His album Memory Hole 1 was filled with sound clips about everything imaginable and so unique. I still to this day have no idea where he acquired some of the shit that is on that record. If you ever get the chance, pick up a copy. It is a truly wild ride, so buckle your seatbelt.
time gaps
time gaps was meant to be a sort of extension of subliminal messages. They both utilize similar speaking voices and share a common concept. Although it is very hard to hear what he is saying in this version, it speaks about time and how people use their time and react in situations. Living in the present had always been a great area of focus in my life, especially for me at that age.
Story time!! So, tripping on acid at my buddy’s house with a few friends. We took a pretty hefty dose but were quickly becoming seasoned veterans at this point. The peak had come and gone (and my god, man was it intense. Literally felt it in my balls) and we were getting ready to make a snack. Then the power went out. We figured it must’ve been out for the neighbors as well, and there was no major storm coming through so we thought it a bit strange. We very nearly called our parents (which would’ve been a-whole-nother disaster in itself), but we decided to tough it out. Another friend brought up an interesting point, something that would’ve been cool to think about not tripping balls: “if the entire world went dark, how long would it take for everyone on Earth to find out?” I didn’t think my eyes could open any more than they did. The thought was catastrophic. So we started looking through closets for anything that we might need if the power was out [forever, and globally] and we came across a very interesting piece of home decor. It was a sign that said: “Live Simply.”
Now, before that trip, I had only used LSD for recreational purposes. I wanted to get high, see pretty colors, and trip my face off. But this trip taught me a lesson. No other trip before had done anything like this. I really started to question my own materialistic nature and whether or not I was truly living in the present or just waiting for my next purchase. An eye-opening experience for sure (no pun intended).
Oh, and lastly. I ran out of sound clips near the end. So I very poorly impersonated an Indian person. Yes, that’s my voice. Cringeworthy.
eyes of zen
I’m surprised that I haven’t yet encountered the infamous drum loop that I used in almost every song that I wrote back then. Glad it isn’t so pervasive as I thought, although I’m sure we’ll hear it soon enough. This song has some real remixing potential as well. The intro bass wobble thing I think is really cool, and was before the whole Skrillex / dubstep / trap movement. The arppegiators make the song very rhythmic but then it takes off in another direction, much softer. The spoken word follows suit. Not sure why it’s called eyes of zen either. Perhaps it speaks to our ignorance of self and that we should either aim to study our true nature or be blissfully unaware. Although the latter seems to get us into trouble, so maybe not.
money talks
And here we begin a series of three tracks (presented as two on this collection: money talks and idm / bullshit walks) that follow a similar vein. A foray into politics was inevitable with music of this nature. War profiteering and Al Gore’s proclamation of “creating the internet” seem to be in opposite directions, but they are in a similar field. Being young and innocent, I didn’t really understand the political system as it truly was. I could see the faults of demagoguery and saying whatever will please the people, in order to get elected, and I knew it was morally wrong. But I didn’t understand the underlying exchange that happened behind closed doors. “Give me a vote on this bill, and you got my vote for yours" and trading secrets rule the arena of politics. It’s become such a grotesque monster that it’s almost too big to fail at this point. Sad.
idm / bullshit walks
If money talks is a slice of pizza, then idm / bullshit walks is the whole fucking restaurant. money talks was the first song written, and then came idm. idm originally was titled ‘indestructible machines’ but I shortened it to idm to give it a double meaning of ‘industrial dance music.’ Although its content is hardly dance-worthy.
I lived through the events of 9/11 and remember watching the second plane crash into the World Trade Center live on TV. I was in sixth grade at the time and even then I understood just how big it was. This event changed the world forever, and the older I grew and the more I learned, I realized that it wasn’t changed for good. After watching the conspiracy theory movies Zeitgeist and Loose Change my stance was instantly shook. I didn’t necessarily believe without doing my own research, but the evidence presented is almost so damning that it’s hard to ignore.
Quick note on the mix. idm / bullshit walks was originally two songs. The split is very obvious when the wobbly bass comes in about halfway through. idm was meant to be a call to action / intro for the information presented in bullshit walks. I wasn’t saying that everything I included was true, but just be ready to deal with something that is potentially so big that it can change how you think about a country. The track also went through heavy mixing changes over the years and is presented here in it’s most complete form.
bullshit walks beings with Al Gore reprising his role as himself from money talks. It then takes a trip into heavy conspiracy theory, leaning towards 9/11 being an inside job. There were so many clips that I wanted to use for this song, but I tried to keep it simple and to the point. Only the most relevant pieces of evidence that could be audibly presented were used. The conspiracy movies go in depth with all of this information and plenty of even crazier rabbit holes that I dare not venture into.
And this begs a question: what does conspirio believe?
Answer: conspirio believes that you shouldn’t just believe everything you hear, no matter what side you’re on. Figure it out for yourself and, dare I say, free your mind.
tunnels to zion
This song is in the perfect place, right after the deep conspiratorial idm / bullshit walks. It’s a continuation of the same ideals but it is admittedly, a bit oddly named. Remember, I was 16ish at the time and was quite dumb. Honestly I do worry a bit about this song getting me into trouble. The sound clips are hardly available for use freely, but the middle segment is just too perfect to not be heard. Everything about the monologue and the buildup in music just fits so well together. So please, don’t sue me.
Now back to the name. I think I liked the idea of tunneling to Zion but didn’t really understand what the concept meant. The clips I used also don’t really gel with that idea unless we stray away from the Biblical Zion (or Jewish afterlife) and look towards the Zion from the Matrix. The city of Zion is humanity’s last stronghold against the machines who try to tear it down. It is invisible to all of those who are not awoken and are still plugged into the machine of the Matrix. If we look at the song as what’s really going on in Zion, then we become the people still plugged in and Zion takes on a much darker role in the narrative. Again, I was 16 and had no real idea of how to use subtext. Still interesting to think about anyway.
generations
generations takes the concept of Zion and puts it more in the frame of Hollywood and mass media. If government is the true puppet master, then media is their useful idiot. Any story they want the world to hear is easily regurgitated through mass outlets. Network news is one of those concepts that takes a great idea on paper and it evolves into something completely beyond our control. At the time, Bush Jr. was the president, and basically a talking puppet, almost painfully transparent in his moronic idiosyncrasies. The State of the Union address is largely an event where the president can speak freely and poke a little fun at himself. It might be his best speech, but not because it’s funny, but because it’s media and not news. It makes for great TV and he’s under no pressure to tell the truth, or hide it. I also really like the buildup in this song. It changes a few times and moves dynamically so it doesn’t feel like 6 minutes. This was also the first song to have an entirely different outro when compared to the rest of the track.
relapse
We begin with Richard Nixon’s famous speech about accepting political gifts in the form of a puppy named “Checkers”. conspirio fans will also notice the next sound clip sounds familiar as I used it again for medicate. This song is too many different odd clips all mashed together, I think. In retrospect, it was meant to be like a “here we go again” effort, showing that even after all the shit that politicians say, they still just go back to how they were. The LSD testing of the British troops sound clip does do a good job of linking some concepts together, talking about the “bunching and indecision”. If we look at politicians in this light, they really regress back to their most primal form when their reality is stripped away. On the inverse side of the coin, LBJ is totally devoted to the “awesome powers of this office,” and is evident in what he’s done for the country. Social programs from the Great Society that are still with us today. It was a revolutionary time in our history. Arguably, many will argue that such great spending likely contributed to the Great Inflation of the 1970s but this isn’t an economics paper!
covfefe
Which brings us to the final installment of idiocy. President Donald Trump is something I thought I would never say with a serious tone. This track is the most recent on this collection, written this year (2020). It couldn’t not be done. The shit he says is so absurd that it was begging me to make a song out of it. The song was also an attempt at electro-jazz which I thought actually worked quite well. The jazzy drums and whompy quasi-walking bass line make an interesting groove.
I think that the speech that Joe Kennedy III gives here is extremely spot on, even still today. Following the absurdity of Trump, Joe goes on to say that we are the ones who are responsible for our own future. The world is sick, the world needs movements to change and grow. The world needs to have leaders stand up for what they believe to be true and fair to all men and women. This hope can rally enough of a critical mass and actually foster that change. No voice is too small, no injustice is unimportant, and we need to use our voices in whatever medium we can, to speak our truths. The last line of the speech was unintentionally cut off due to the sample I acquired. Fully, it reads:
“Some men see things as they are and say, why? I dream things that never were and say, why not?”
But as a final reminder that things aren’t the way they should be, no matter who is in office, Trump declares that truth and justice aren’t more than words. They are not ways of living, they are not perspectives, but rather “bullshit.” And the crowd cheers.
